Whats going on peoples?? Sorry I havent written a journal entry in a long time. I just been so damn busy with getting my life sorted out. I'm working a lot at the Olive Garden. It can get stressful there but all in all its a good job. Pretty soon I'll be getting a second job on top of that. I need to make that money if ya know what I mean. So I'm dating this chick.. She seems nice. but i dont think im ready for a relationship yet. I just pried my way out of a very stressful relationship. I had to jump states just to get out of it. So yea I'm now back in Maine. I'll probably be here for a while but hopefully not forever.

All is well

Ashley and I are no longer. I really don't think we'll get back together. I still love her with all my heart, but I guess its time to start letting go. I don't think I can let get this time. Or maybe I wont be able to fall in love next time. Maybe we weren't meant to be like she said. Maybe I'm too fucked up to feel again. Maybe I will not fall in love again, and maybe I'll grow up. Hopefully someday I can control my pain. I thought I had it under control but it comes back from time to time. I try to erase my past memory's but as I grow older they just hit me harder.

I will always miss you my darling. I hope maybe someday we will reunite by pure coincidence. Stay kind hearted and innocent as you are. Don't let anyone mess with you though. Watch out for that Joey kid. I know you can take care of yourself but I think hes very strange. May you live in peace.
I love you Ashley.....

~Patrick~


Pain is my gain